Hair Today Hair Tomorrow

My friend called me in a half panic half crying voice the other day. Instantly I knew something was wrong when I saw the caller ID with her name. She asked me if my hair had started to fall out yet. My first thought was what was this YET she was talking about. I wasn't planning on loosing any of my hair ever. I asked her calmly what in the world was she talking about. She took a deep breath and sighed like I already should know. So, she said that since she started menopause three years ago her hair has been falling out slowly and today a huge chunk of it fell out while she was washing her hair in the shower. 

I told her in my most sympathic voice possible because I didn't want to make it worse and said I was very sorry that happened to her. I told her as today I still had all of my hair. The most I was suffering with was hot and cold flashes, mostly hot, mostly in the late afternoons and night and occasionally joint pain and my carpal tunnel pain gets worse. But, my hair is fine. It might be orange like a carrot almost but its good. 

My friend was mortified since she definitely considers her hair one of her best features. Even in high school she was always in the mirrors in the girls bathroom at lunch time brushing her long hair. 

I really didn't have any advice for her except check with her doctor. She cheered up a little after I said that and told me yes she would call right away because maybe they had a pill for that. She is a walking pharmacy. The only thing I could say was maybe. I hung up the phone and did the only thing I could do. I walked to the bathroom mirror and checked my own hair. Yep, still there.

Flourishing

It seems lately I have been living a dramatic life. Some good some bad and some funny. The other day I was frantically searching for my house key. I looked high and low. Finally my son said maybe its in the freezer. I looked at him with a why would a key be in the freezer look. He said well, I was always in the freezer getting ice or ice water or ice something so it might be there. I couldn't argue with that. Sure enough that's where it was. I laughed. It was funny. But, I least I found it. 

Then the drama of trying to pack for a move and the thought of not knowing where and doing this through hot flashes and new headaches. I don't think menopause is the cause of those just sinus headaches which have popped up again. So, sweating and packing and stressing over a move that has to happen soon. All I can say  is everything is high but the money in my band our collective pockets here. But, I have faith. 

I also have faith but little faith my moods will get better some days. I have mostly good but there are days when little words and things can catch the wrath of my tounge.  Like when my son gave me the phone. That was fine. But the telemarketer on the other end wasn't.  I tried nicely to tell her I didn't need a Sunday paper subscription at this time. After all, I am trying to move and don't need it here. So, she went on and on and I said something to the tune of I never ever ever wanted her to call me again but not so nicely. She got my point.
Then the real estate woman was not any better. I simply called twice, the first time days ago, I left a message, so I got her I asked if the house I was interested in was sold yet. She says oh yes dear, it is in escrow now. OK, first of all I am thinking "dear? Whose she calling dear. But, I got over that then she starts talking to me like I am 5. I simply said I only needed to know if the house was available and that's all. I didn't want a lecture on the real estate market and talking down to me. 

But, I just got over that too. Perhaps she was just trying to be helpful. I just pulled out my little dollar store fan and drank ,water. So, I needed a walk. I walked to the corner store because I also wanted cookies too. Yes, I am trying to eat more healthier but sometimes you just want a good cookie. So, on my way 
to the store I noticed on flower in a growing in a bunch of leaves, just one flower. One little purple flower flour sing in a little patch of land. I said to myself that is going to be me. Menopause isn't going to last forever and I will be just like that flower standing tall and looking good. 

Wake Up!

Music blarred loudly through my closed bedroom window. Sweat dripped off of my brow. I threw the covers back and sleepi

ly walked over to the window peaked out the corner of the curtain and came face to face with an empty ladder with a paint can on one end and a boom box on the step of the ladder. I instantly knew whom those things belonged to. 

A few months ago the landlord sent a handyman to fix a warp in the floor and spray paint a peeling tub. This handyman spoke broken English which made it hard for me to understand him and him me. He took out a hammer from his bag on his hip and a pocket knife. He cut a small piece of the rug over the bump in the floor and proceeded to pound the lump down. There was another part which needed help too. The landlord called and asked if he fixed both parts of the floor. I tried to explain to him the best I could and all of a sudden he said something like the floor was good and he walked on it and then proceeded to do a cha-cha-cha dance on the lump part which needed to be fixed. He reminded me of the people who get kicked off that dancing show. 

I shook my head and almost laughed out loud. So, today I only needed to hear music and bumping against the side of the house to know who it was. I needed coffee for this day. Of course coffee only made me hotter but I didn't care. As I sipped and sweated I heard scratching at the door. It sounded like a puppy scratching to come inside. But since I didn't have a puppy much to the unhappiness of my son, I knew it was the handyman. I looked out of the living room window and sure enough I was right. He was up on a ladder on the porch scrapping paint off the door and getting ready to slap another coat of white paint on it.  I think the landlord thinks he's a jack of all trades. I don't know if he's mastered any any was in the mood to ask him but I held it back. But from the looks of the paint he slapped on the door he's clearly not a master of painting. 

I poured another cup of coffee and sat in my chair. It was going to be some kind of hot day. Not the weather just me. 

Easter Tradition

Easter is tomorrow. When I was a kid we always went to church and we had Easter baskets and dyed 200 eggs. OK, my sister and I didn't dye that many but we dyed a lot. We always got new dresses and shoes and we always visited my grandmother, great grand father, and great aunt, who lived next door to my great grandfather. We always gave them pretty dyed eggs from our Easter baskets. They were happy to get them and we were happy to give them. My great grandfather would always give us a quarter. Not just on Easter every time we visited him. It was just his way. 

So, when my son got old enough I kept the tradition of dying eggs alive but with one exception we won't dye 200 eggs. I can't eat eggs like I used to. And I don't remember the kitchen being so hot either. But, I am way older now. I boiled 7 eggs. That's plenty for our small family. I had all the windows open in the kitchen just in case. In vase I had a hot flash. Thankfully I didn't. It was a pretty good day in that area. 

I boiled and cooled the eggs. My son picked some cool food coloring we had in the cupboard and the fun began. I smiled as I watched him turn white eggs to blue, red and green eggs. It reminded me of 40 years ago when I was his age and my sister and I used to sit at our  kitchen table doing the same thing except we sometimes argued over the color. He's an only child and doesn't have that problem. But, those were the days, no hot flashes, night sweats, aches and pains just getting out of bed, and all the numerous other things which come with getting older. 

But even through all of that and more I am truly blessed  to have this time on earth and to have my son and family. And very blessed to watch my healthy 9 year old happily dying eggs. That makes me happy.

Orange is My Hair and I Dont Care

I finally took the plunge. It took a lot of courage and finger crossing and even a tiny prayer. But, I did it. A while back I brought some hair color to dye the grey. OK, so it wasn't that much at the beginning but a couple months after or so give or take the grey multiplied faster then my sons math problems. So, it had to be done. I went and fished out the box from my card box. Don't ask. I read all the directions twice and even called my best friend for a consultation over the phone. First thing she said when I sent her a picture of the box was "Oh, that's kinda light." I frowned and felt like a kid searching for something to say all I could come up with was "Well, I wanted light." Yeah, I told her. :-)  

I grabbed an old towel, changed into an old shirt cause the directions told me too. I mixed and shook the dye bottle and proceeded to apply it to my head and hair. I really couldn't tell if it was working or not as I stood in front of the bathroom mirrors hoping for the best. I then sat and waited 20 min like the box said. It said 40 min for more intense color but I figured 20 was long enough. I was anxious.

So, I washed it off in the kitchen sink and went to look in the mirrors again. It looked sort of light but I thought I would be able to tell more after it dried. So, blow dryer in hand I started drying.

My first clue something went wrong was when my 9 year son came into the room while I was drying my hair. He asked in horror what happened to my hair. I said what? Thinking that he was just not used to seeing me with big hair. He then looked confused and asked why I had orange hair now. I said to him no it can't be orange. He said I should go look. I did.

He was right. I did look like a carrot top. My mom said "Oh, its not so bad." As she laughed until tears started streaming from her eyes. I knew it was bad. All I could do was brush it into a ponytail and hopefully the orange would wear off sooner then later.

Today me and my brand new hair had to go get groceries mostly for my mom. I thought of digging out one of my sons baseball caps but I decided not to. I would wear my new mane proudly. I walked in the store proudly. 

As I was looking for the vanilla extract this young man said hello. I said hello back to be polite. So, he kept kind of looking at my hair. I was thinking oh brother here it comes my first comment about my reddish hair. I ceased in calling it orange when I got to the parking lot. So, he says he liked the color. Just when I was about to say thanks he finished his sentence with, "You are a nice looking older chick." Then he smiled and walked away. 

So, maybe this hair doesn't look too bad after all. For a good   looking older chick that is. 

So Emotional

Yesterday was pretty emotional. I had a lot of stuff on my mind. I decided to try to relax. Trying being the operative word in that sentence. I figured since my son was busy watching a kid show, mother approved, online and my mom was napping I had a pretty good chance of doing something to take my mind off of other stuff. Slowly I inched off of my chair in the living room and almost cat like crept into my room. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do once I got in there or how long it would be before someone would call my name for something.

I decided to paint. I am far from an artist but I like to do it nonetheless. It is usually relaxing and it reminds me of when I was a kid during carefree times coloring. I don't have fancy easels or fancy paint brushes, etc...I found some small canvases that someone gifted my son a while back and I fished out the paints I had semi packed in a box for our move, whenever that is. I used an egg carton for a pallet and a plastic cup with water to wash the brushes. 

So, I was sitting there just thinking about what to paint. I put some purplish paint on my brush and proceeded to paint something. All of a sudden out of nowhere I just started crying. Crying holding a paint brush with purple paint. I don't know exactly why. After all purple paint never made me cry before. But since I have been going through menopause I haven't don't this much crying since I had my son.I think I surpassed that now.

Then I made my first paint stroke and started crying more. So there I sat crying like a new born baby .  Then the crying stopped. I dried my eyes, blew my nose and a calm wave sort of came over me. Like a cool breeze on a hot flash day. I finished my painting and painted 2 more. Granted they aren't the prettiest paintings but it certainly was therapeutic for me. And taking a second or six for me was just short of fantastic.

Just Relaxation... sort of

My cold case of the missing wallet continues. I believe its not in the house and I have an idea of what happened but I decided just to cancel all the credit and debit cards order new ones and take a trip to the DMV to replace the ID part. I won't be able to replace the money, the Safeway gift card or my potential winning lotto ticket. :-) But that's the way it goes sometimes. Smiling faces got me that day. But I won't be fooled again. 

So, I am back to trying to eat again since I hadn't had much of an appetite worrying about the wallet case. I made a small healthy fajitas for lunch. I sweated the whole time I was frying and slicing chicken into tiny strips and attempting to cut little bite size pieces of tomatoes. I am trying to eat less, more fruits, veggies, less fried more grilled and less fried. So, with a glass of ice tea in hand I sliced and diced my way through hot flashes in a hot kitchen and in about 40 minutes give or take 10 minutes I was done sweating and done cooking. 

I proudly displayed my masterpiece on the plate and though that it is possibly good enough for an instaagram picture. All I see besides selfies of the people I follow are food pictures. I thought about it for a second. Then sipped more tea and for that second enjoyed being hot flash free. No better way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Only thing missing was a Sunny backyard and a couple of lawn chairs under an apple tree. Maybe one day.

The Case Of The Missing Wallet

My wallet is missing and the memory of where it is missing is missing from my brain. My brain has been forgetting a lot lately. I couldn't remember where I put keys, cellphones, cups, and folders lately. Luckily when I misplace my cellphone if it is on, which, a couple times it was on vibrate and took me ten times longer to fine, but if the ringer is on it pretty to find by just calling it using the house phone. But, keys, cups, folders and a host of other things aren't easy since they don't have ringers. 

Yesterday I went to the grocery store. I forgot butter. I was lucky that's all I forgot and the bad part is I had made a list. But then again I also had a 9 year old and a chatty sister with me. So, it is incredible I came out just without butter. 

Which leads me to the case of the missing wallet. I had it when I left the store and it made it all the way home wallet safely tucked away in my sons backpack. I had bought stamps from the store. I love one stop shopping. So I stamped some cards for some kids I was mailing birthday cards too. A half a book of stamps later I was done. Stamps went back into the wallet. I keep them there so I won't loose them. It worked until I lost the wallet. My chatty sister and son walked to the corner store for some fruit roll ups. I took the wallet out took out some money handed it to her to get the fruit roll ups and the winning lottery ticket. OK, at least a lottery ticket. So, they came back and handed me the change and the winning lottery ticket. I totally remember putting all of that in my wallet and placing it on the crate/my makeshift table by my chair. Then it was dinner times and my chatty sister left right after. Then of course I had to do another 99 things before bedtime. I vaguely remember dreaming that I forgot my wallet in the front room. I think it as a dream cause I was too tired to remember.

Next morning, today, I rolled out of bed after sweating half the night and got showered and dressed, made breakfast got school started for my son and two hot flashes later I said oh I need another stamp cause I forgot to mail an Easter card. I walk over to where I thought my wallet should be. I looked and looked and sweated looking. So, I said to myself this is ridiculous I am not loosing my mind this much it was right there. I proceed to ask my mom, son and brother if by chance they spotted it. Everyone said what I thought they would say, no. I called my chatty sister same question same answer and then I had to hear a 20 minute synopsis of why she hated her job. I texted my nephew at work same question. 2 hours later same answer was texted back, nope.

I spent the majority of the day sweating and looking behind things, under things, beside things, all things. Things I forgot about that I still had. Nothing. I even checked toy boxes and rugs. 

I am hoping its found in a day or two cause I really would hate to find numbers to get replacement everything. I wish I could get replacement money if I don't find it. Yep, just wishful thinking about the money and the winning lottery ticket which is tucked in my wallet for safe keeping. 

So, until its found the case remains open. Just hoping this case doesn't turn into a cold case. 

Spring Days

Yesterday and the day before were very warm outside. It was close to 80 degrees those two days which is rare around here but does occasionally happen a few times per year. I thought it would be no big deal since I had been up until a couple days ago, been getting one or two hot flashes during the day time. Mine usually kicked in more at night. So I figured even in 80 degree weather in the day by night it would be more like 50 something. So, I was more then surprised when I was just  sitting in my usual spot watching a little TV and out of nowhere my face started to get hot. Then my neck. I said aloud oh no. My mom looked at me like I was nuts and probably thought I was talking to the TV. I then was more surprised when I broke out in a hot sweat. Sweat started dripping off of my face down my chin and onto my shirt. I never had that happen before. 


I grabbed the end of my shirt and used it for a temporary towel and proceeded to wipe the sweat out of my eyes. The bottom of my shirt was wet with sweat.  I couldn't believe it. Just when I changed shirts and got a ice cold glass of water it happened again about 30 minutes later.  It was not as intense but I was sweating again. This time I was more prepared with a small handful of paper towels. I quickly wiped the sweat from my face and sipped more water. 

As I sat back in my chair after the last episode of hotness I thought to myself this is definitely is going to be a very long, long hot summer if those two days were any indication. I better enjoy the cool spring days while I can.

JellyBean Lust

Today was dollar tree Friday. I needed a few things and of course my son wanted a few things. It was Easter in the store. I couldn't help myself and before I knew it my feet headed to the jelly bean aisle. My mouth started watering and then right in the middle of my eyes lighting up at the sight of chocolate bunnies, jelly beans and peeps I got a hot flash. I fanned myself with one hand and moved closer to the candy. I think I was more excited too see Easter candy then my son. But then again any holiday that involved candy was always my favorite as a kid. So it was not a surprise that 50 years later I would  still love candy. 
I anxiously filled my hand cart with all the varieties of candy I could afford and smiled to myself proud of my small bounty of treats. In another corner of the store were Easter baskets. I had to get one. They were going fast. A couple grabs of fake grass for the baskets and another hot flash later I was heading down the toy aisles with my son. He was in search of a yo-yo and found that and another ball on a string. 

I decided to sort of put together a basket. Mostly for decoration since between my son and I that candy was not going to make it until Easter. I got some sparkle fake eggs for the basket and then the jelly beans. OK, some of the jelly beans. OK, a few of the jelly beans. My intention was to only eat no more then ten. Right. I was kidding myself. A half bag later with like 10 in the basket I told my son I needed a time out. He laughed. I couldn't help it. The poor basket didn't get as many jelly beans as my tummy. But, I did eventually stop and put the bags down. 

My, my, my it was hard but my thighs will thank me later. 

Feeling Pretty

I was boxing up some clothes from the top shelf of my closet last night. These weren't old clothes. Most still had the tags on them. These clothes were clothes that just didn't fit right. I hate the low rise jeans and tried to buy some high rise jeans online a few months ago but the high were still the low on my body so I put them on the shelf with the fantasy in my head that I will loose enough weight to fit them soon.  That was too long ago for me too remember. 
 So, as I stood there packing stuff away I was thinking that I haven't really felt pretty in a long time. I know its kind of crazy but my whole life has been thrown in the crazy bin lately. Lol 

I managed to get the grey out of my hair. Hadn't done anything else but that. It made  me feel good. At least about my hair. It made me happy to look in the mirror and not see strands of grey as I brushed my hair in the morning. So, I have decided to keep coloring it until I am 103. 

I decided that I wanted some new clothes. I am always taking care of everyone all the time but never myself as well as I should. So I fired up the computer, yes today it was online shopping, tomorrow in person shopping. I went to Amazon. They have almost everything. I found two lacy casual tops. I got one in hot red and one in black. I found a little jacket for summer, when summer arrives, in a bright color also. That's a start. Plus of course, I got my son some shoes. 

Tomorrow I plan on jeans shopping in person with my sister. 
Maybe some shoe shopping too. As for the box I packed up in the closet, it will be donated . I am no longer under the illusion I will loose a million pounds in 2 weeks. I am a work in progress. A pretty work in progress. :-) 

Blowing In The Wind!

Today was a hot day for me. Not the weather outside. Outside it never got out of the 50s. I woke up hot and  continued with hot flashes off and on and more off then on today. I felt sort of crazy walking around the house with a tank top all day long looking more like I was dressed for a 90 degree summer day instead of a spring, or what they are calling a spring day. My son asked if I was hot. I said yes I was. He looked at me wearing hi long sleeve shirt and shrugged his shoulders and walked to his room. 

Since it is spring break for him although a rainy one, spring break nonetheless, I  pulled out the paints from the craft room otherwise also known as the toy room, slash my sons room, and put newspapers on the kitchen table, which is a banquet table we got at target 2 years ago on sale, and if I would have had sleeves on I would have rolled them up to paint. It was the only thing I could think of for him to do on a cloudy grey day. I turned on the small fan and laughed when my hair started blowing around my head. But at least I was cool. 

So, my afternoon turned out to be  cool and crafty as I sat side by side with my son and hair blowing from the cool breeze of the fan, tied back in a bun, and just painted little works of art. These works of art painted by us today will hang on our walls at our new house, when we find one. 

Hopefully, cooler days ahead if not my hair will be forever blowing in the wind. 

Laughing in the Rain!

A thunderous welcome to spring break occurred this morning. I have always liked the rain. Listening to the raindrops drumming against the windows. Its a force of nature that I don't to see and hear too much. It hasn't rained as much as it should this year. 

My son is on spring break vacation. He's 9 and so instead of planning trips to parks and zoos and other outside places plans changed for the first two days of his vacation. We have to find some fun indoor not boring and not stressful for mom to do with him. 

So, through the breaks in between the storms I did something that I haven't done in years.  I followed my son outside and we found the biggest  most best, to quote my son, rain puddle on the block and then I did it. I made the biggest splash and the best splash I have ever made in the history of splashes. My son made a pretty good one too. It was such a freeing experience is the only way I can describe it.  For that one moment today I didn't feel like a 50 year menapausal woman with hot flashes two hundred times per minute and joint pains and occasional mood swings. For once I felt pretty good jumping in puddles and laughing in the rain.