So Emotional

Yesterday was pretty emotional. I had a lot of stuff on my mind. I decided to try to relax. Trying being the operative word in that sentence. I figured since my son was busy watching a kid show, mother approved, online and my mom was napping I had a pretty good chance of doing something to take my mind off of other stuff. Slowly I inched off of my chair in the living room and almost cat like crept into my room. I didn't know exactly what I was going to do once I got in there or how long it would be before someone would call my name for something.

I decided to paint. I am far from an artist but I like to do it nonetheless. It is usually relaxing and it reminds me of when I was a kid during carefree times coloring. I don't have fancy easels or fancy paint brushes, etc...I found some small canvases that someone gifted my son a while back and I fished out the paints I had semi packed in a box for our move, whenever that is. I used an egg carton for a pallet and a plastic cup with water to wash the brushes. 

So, I was sitting there just thinking about what to paint. I put some purplish paint on my brush and proceeded to paint something. All of a sudden out of nowhere I just started crying. Crying holding a paint brush with purple paint. I don't know exactly why. After all purple paint never made me cry before. But since I have been going through menopause I haven't don't this much crying since I had my son.I think I surpassed that now.

Then I made my first paint stroke and started crying more. So there I sat crying like a new born baby .  Then the crying stopped. I dried my eyes, blew my nose and a calm wave sort of came over me. Like a cool breeze on a hot flash day. I finished my painting and painted 2 more. Granted they aren't the prettiest paintings but it certainly was therapeutic for me. And taking a second or six for me was just short of fantastic.