Say What Now?

Sometimes I feel like I am in a middle of a life that's  not mine. I wake up with hot flashes go to bed with cold flashes then afternoon joint pain. A simple walk a few blocks and all of a sudden my back started hurting out of the blue.  I felt like what now? It wasn't a BSD pain and went away as quickly as it came.  I had my son carry my bag and inside I went walking slowly up the 17 steps that leads to the front door. Twenty years ago I could probably take these steps two at a time or at the very least slowly jogged up them. Today, I made it up and had to sit down in the middle of one of those never ending hot flashes. 

I looked at myself in the mirror and barely recognized me. The me I was. The me with no grey hair popping up here and there in spots, the me who didn't have little barely visible lines around my mouth on either side of it. The me without the puffy eyes when I wake up every morning, the me without the worry lines that are trying to form on my forehead. I saw a different older me. I would never have thought thirty years ago I would see so many changes. 

My mom asked me two weeks ago if I had done something to my face. I said no. She didn't say if she saw a good or bad thing. I took it as maybe the new hair color, which since has been changed to not as bright, might have made my face look different. I hope in a good way. 
But whatever the case I just hope I age more gracefully then not on the outside. On the inside my heart is still the same.