A Good Cry

I have been feeling physically pretty good for the most part lately. The hot flashes have been not as frequent as they had been in weeks past but I am knocking on wood that it stays that way at least for a day or two. But while hot flashes have decreased some stress has picked up where flashes left. I have been so stresses that my stress has stress. I have been crying more. For some reason I feel the need to just cry sometimes late at night when nobody can hear me. I hate crying in front of people. I never really have. So, I weep in private just because I need a good cry. 

Sometimes I just feel as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders or at least of my family. My mom is sick and she's like my backbone and when I need to make a hard decision I usually talk to her first. Or sometimes we just chat about nothing. I miss that. She lives with me and she's not here. I miss her. I even miss the dhit chat that she and my son do when I am trying to relax for a mini second and they are chattering to the top of their lungs. We have to travel across town to see her. I see her and realize just how much I really miss her. Then I feel the weight bof just trying to keep the house or apartment running. I have many days of trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents. But, I always find a way cause that is what my mom did all her life she found a way. I got that from her. 

So, as I struggle with all the stress of my life and fan away my hot flashes, sip on water, and try to find my waist line again I sometimes just let it all out with a good cry and then pick myself up, wipe away the tears and move forward. Just move forward.